Moving On

The past three weeks or so of my life have been some of the most challenging times of my life. God has been throwing things my way that I’m not ready to deal with and that quite honestly I don’t know if I want to deal with at all, but that doesn’t stop them from coming. It seems like as soon as I start to get a grip on one thing, something else falls apart and I’m left again trying to pick myself back up again. I hate everything about it, but when I think about it this is exactly what I have been asking for. Over the past year or so I’ve been praying for God to force me out of my comfort zone so I’m forced to rely on him and trust in him alone. I thought leaving for college this year would be the push that I needed, but honestly I’ve never been more comfortable in my life. Sure it was a huge change moving away from home and meeting all new people, but it wasn’t uncomfortable for me in the slightest bit. I found friends I truly love, I found friends who have the same beliefs as I do, and I’m taking classes I can succeed in. Overall I’ve been living a pretty chill and comfortable life here at school. I’m beyond thankful for all of that, but coming here hasn’t really challenged me to rely on God’s faithfulness anymore than I already had. Not until recently that is. Over the past month God has been literally stripping away my comfort. As much as it hurts, as much as it HATE it, this is the challenge I’ve been asking for. It’s sort of like when you pray for patience. God doesn’t just give us patience but he often gives us the opportunity to be patient. That is what has been happening to me. Through all of this mess I’ve had nowhere else to turn but to God.  Which is the way it should be. I tend to run to people to help fix me, but the only one truly capable of repairing my heart is God.

Recently I’ve been incredibly hurt and let down by particular people in my life. One-minute things look hopeful and seem to be going well and the next minute I’m left feeling used and hurt.  But that’s our human depravity. We let people down and people let us down, it’s a sad reality but it’s also true. Something God has been showing me through this is that even though people leave me and let me down HE NEVER WILL! God is never going to leave me. There is nothing I can do to make God turn his back to me and leave me broken and alone. Even when I deny him with my words and my actions he still embraces me in his arms. It gives me goose bumps everywhere. God is forever a constant in my life even when it feels like everything else is changing.

Another thing I’ve been learning is that when people hurt you it’s so easy to harbor bitterness in your heart towards people and to let that get the best of you. God’s been showing me the importance of praying for these people. Instead of talking negatively about someone, or thinking poorly of them. I’ve been learning to pray for them instead. God truly has softened my heart towards people who’ve heart me, and it has allowed me to genuinely love these people despite the hurt.  God has shown me nothing but Grace my entire life, so who am I to withhold that same Grace from others? Maybe the reason these people hurt me was so I had the opportunity to show them grace and to forgive them…something any of us could use a little practice at…

Crappy and hurtful situations happen to teach us something and to grow us into stronger people. It is important to always remember what we’ve learned from these situations, but not to let the memory of the actual pain overcome the good that can come out of it. Life is far to short to let the pains in life get the best of us. I understand that pain is real and it takes time to get over things, but I can say from experience that dwelling over the hurt only prolongs the healing process. As much as it hurts we’ve got to move on, let go and let God be the healer.